In the middle of my sin

"Sin will take you further than you want to go, hold you longer than you want to stay and you'll pay a price higher than you ever intended."

"At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves." (Genesis 3:7a) "And the Lord God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife." (Genesis 3:21)

"No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.” Cain replied to the Lord, “My punishment is too great for me to bear! You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!” The Lord replied, “No, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him. " Genesis 4:12-15

I wrote all these verses because they illustrate in a practical way how God loves a human being in the mist of his or her sin. Adam and Eve were naked from the moment they were created. They were close to God and they felt loved, accepted and fulfilled exactly how they were. When they sinned the bond broke and in that moment they saw their nakedness (emptiness). I feel empty only when I grow distant from God. When He is close I feel loved and accepted and fulfilled. I don't know how to get bored, I never did. I spent many days on my own in the house and I never was bored, because I never felt I am on my own. I don't particularly like loneliness, but I can't live without it for more than a few days. I have to somehow end up somewhere where it's just me and Him.

Something that touches my heart very much in the scene with Adam and Eve, is the way God loves them. When they realise they are naked, they feel shame and they hide. And in the middle of all the disaster they created, God stops to make them clothes so that His children would stop being ashamed and hide from Him. All the time they were close to Him it didn't matter that they were naked, they were always clothed in His presence, so they didn't know what it means to be naked and empty. When He is no more, what has man got left to cover the nakedness of his soul and his mind? Nothing, but shadows and dust-other people and things, that can be easily taken away. When He is close I always feel warmth, as if I am surrounded by these invisible arms: "You wrap around me like a winter coat. You come and burn me with Your kiss, and my heart burns for You..." (Delirious- Obsession)

Another instance that drew my attention is the story of Cain's punishment, after he killed Abel. God tells him: "From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.” At which point, Cain exactly as his mother did in the Garden of Eden, starts adding to what God said: "You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!” God never said however will find him should kill him, but Cain considers his punishment too great and he doesn't shy away from telling God this. Can you believe the man? After killing his own brother? In the Bible the capital punishment for anyone who spills innocent blood is death. You would expect in the very same instance for God to strike Cain dead where he was standing. Instead of this He loves Cain in the midst of his capital sin. The punishment should have been a life for a life. If anyone would have encountered Cain and killed him, he would've only got what he deserved. But God decides a signs for Cain so that everyone would know not to kill him: "The Lord replied, “No, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him. "A mark to protect him, in the middle of his sin: "Don't touch him, he is My son. He might be a mess right now, but he's still My son." This is how God loves in the midst of our rubbish. This is my God- the One who carries on loving when He would have every reason to be disappointed.
This is what He says about me when I land in the pit, when hell would have every right to step all over me: "Don't touch her! She's My girl. She might be a mess right now, but she's Mine"
Yeshua's blood for me is my sign. God put it on me so that the whole world seen and unseen would know that I am His: "Don't touch her, she's Mine"

I never knew how much I can be loved, until I saw God loving me in the midst of my sin. There, in the middle of my mess, my heart hears: "I have chosen you and will not throw you away...because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you." (Isaiah 41:9b; Isaiah 43:4a) And that's when my heart reaches to Him and wants out of the pit and back in His arms. God invests time, patience and a great deal of love in us. My sister, Bat Melech, was writing today "If God has a weakness, that's us." And that's so precious. God can't resist a heart that reaches out for Him, no matter how messed up that heart is. He will never throw it away.






Sometimes while I'm driving
Trying to find my song
Looking for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are
Bringin' me back home

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me

Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are
Bringin' me back home

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me

Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Still lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally sweet Jesus is
Bringin' me back home

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
That he died upon a tree