Wednesday 15 April 2015

What failure? Fear of what?


"Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign grace will be my guide
My feet may fail when fear surrounds me
But You never fail and you won't start now." (Oceans", Hillsong United)

They said I couldn't do it
They said I won't get through
They said my name was Failure
And fail is what I'll do.

But You know better, Father.
And gave me another name
And just because You love me
I'll never be the same.
 ("The Journey", my poem wrote on 1 February 2014)
  
 I read yesterday that the word challenge in English literally means "false accusation". That means that what I view as a challenge is simply NOT THE TRUTH.

This, changes the way you look at what you perceive to be difficulties and the way you view failure. I am not afraid of failure anymore because I finally identified the root that feeds it- other people's opinion about me. Fear of what, if that which stands against me and my goal is not even real? Thoughts have power to hurt me only if I allow them in my head. They might visit, but they're not allowed to become residents. Thoughts don't have the power to hurt me if they are concocted in other people's heads. I can't control what someone chooses to believe about me. All I can do is keep going which I will always do.

I can't begin to describe how liberating this is. You have your own journey to make. Your journey is about experiences and memories and lessons learnt. And let me tell you that the best lessons of my life happened after I few buckets of tears or what I perceived to be a knife in my chest. Most of them happened because I failed. Do you know what turned them from bad memories into lessons? The fact that I did not give up no matter what was shouted at me.

At times I was judged and people chose to see only my bad traits (which I have because thankfully I am not perfect yet). At times harsh or critical words were spoken to me. It hurt, but I took on board those that I deserved and carried on. At no point did I allow others view of me to defined me. People had impact in my life, but people did not make me. God made me.

If you no longer try to control what other people think about you, or shape yourself into what they want you to become you are not afraid to step out. You are not afraid to take a step, even if it turns out to be a wrong one. You are no longer afraid to make mistakes because all of the sudden mistakes are no longer buckets of tears or knifes in your heart. They are just an experience which hopefully will turn into a positive lesson. Mistakes are not failures if you don't view them through other people's judging eyes. Mistakes are just mistakes. And here's a thought for you, perhaps others are so eager to point at your mistakes because they can't handle doing what you do- facing yours and viewing them as they are- experiences.

What you perceive to be a challenge is just an opportunity. Take your steps and have your journey. Those who judge and shake their heads will never spend a minute in your heart and mind. God does and He will always cheer you on.