Why I love Him

I had people asking me "how can you love someone you've never seen, aren't you still young to think about these things?" I thought about it, because I think it is important not to dismiss any kind of question that people ask you or you might ask yourself.

Why do I love Him? I know it's not because my mother or my sister love Him. I don't believe in that kind of "love", it will never stand when trial comes. At 21 I knew I loved Him because I decided to, not because my mother told me.
But did I decide to love Him out of gratefulness, because I realised I was forgiven, that all that weight from my heart and my mind has disappeared? Yes, to a certain extent, but it's more than that.
It started when I messed up the first time. It was similar to having this beautiful white gown on, that someone gave to you out of love, and you decide to go in the first pit and trash it. That's how I felt. I was sure He will leave, but I was surprised to feel my heart filled with this warmth and I knew I was loved. And it carried on for almost 8 years. He never left!

"Never leave you, nor forsake you...though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you." (Hebrews 13:5b, Isaiah 54:10)

If you would be made out of stone, you would end up loving someone who never leaves you no matter how much you wrong them. So, it's more than my parents beliefs and gratefulness- it's love, the kind you cannot get rid of even if you try to because it's somehow tattooed on your heart.
For those who ask me how can I love Him without having seen Him, I would suggest a simple exercise:
Breath in and hold your breath. Keep holding your breath until you feel you're chocking, your heart starts to beat faster and your system reaches panic mode. Now breath in again. Would you say you now love air? Can you see it?
That's me with Yeshua. Without Him I am chocking and hit the panic mode, even if I can't see Him.

You might say: "That's fine for you, Emanuela, but why would I make myself so dependant on someone?"
I can see your point, especially if you are a very independent person. But lets just say, you meet that special someone your heart only dares to dream of and you fall in love. You have this amazing relationship and you love and are loved beyond words. They just complete you, and their eyes speak to you without a word being altered. You can't help it, because it just happened, it wasn't something you could control. What would be your worst nightmare? Would it be losing that person? They could either leave you or God forbids they could die, because they're human.

I could not help but love Him. I tried to stay away to test myself, but I could not bear that longing, so I would always go back. I reached the point where I decided to stop fighting it and let it happen. I then realised I had no fear, that I could let go because you see, in my love for Him and His love for me there's no fear. He's Everlasting and beyond my death so I'm safe:-)

I love Him for many many reasons, and I am sure if I would ask someone else who knows Him, they would tell me many many other reasons, but that's Him. He's all that!

"Just to be with you, I've done everything. There's no price I did not pay. Just to be with you, I gave everything. Yes, I gave My life away. Just to be with, just to be with you." Third day- Love song

Emanuela