Celebrating life Jewish style

This is a song sung by Christians United for Israel in USA. Really touched my heart in light of my previous article.

Shabbat Shalom to you all.

Emanuela

Has God abandoned Israel?

I finally decided to write about Israel. Every time I am going through difficult times, I think about Israel. Why? Because Israel learnt from their God-they never give up, no matter how hard it gets. And boy did it get hard for them. I avoided writing about Israel because I know as soon as I do, I will have to address anti-semitism and what's worse anti-semitism in church and this topic always gets to me. I have to remind myself that patience and gentleness are from God whenever I see it:-)

Anti-semitism in church should be two oposite terms. They should not even be in the same phrase, since The One who is the Head of the Church is a Jew, but then again this is what makes this sort of mindset even more mad and ridiculous. I don't know when "God abandoned Israel and chose us" came into existence. Some blame Apostle Paul for it. I think they are wrong and they should read Romans 11 for enlightenment:
"I ask, then, has God rejected his own people, the nation of Israel? Of course not! I myself am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham and a member of the tribe of Benjamin." (Romans 11:1)
What matters is that this stupid theory is amongst us and it doesn't seem to want to go away completely no matter how much we step on its head. I don't have the habit of calling a theory stupid until I can prove it wrong, and in the case of this one, I didn't even have to make an effort. If the anti-semites would bother to read the first part of their Bibles as well, and not just consider it was put there to make the book thicker, they hopefully would be able to see the truth. I am saying hopefully, because Martin Luther read it, and he didn't seem to get to much out of it. Hence he was one of the worst anti-semites in the history of the church (please don't understand I am saying everything Martin Luther said and did was wrong, I am saying his anti-semitism was wrong and I will never support it.) I heard Christians making comments that if in Judaism, Rabbis would speak more from Isaiah 53, then they would see what we mean. With all due respect, how many Rabbis have you heard speaking in your whole life? And since we're at this topic, how many pastors have you heard preaching from Romans 11? They don't, because it's not popular to tell Chriatians that they don't come first, that we are adopted (this comment is sure to bring me some "popularity":-))

I began asking myself questions at the begining of my walk with God. I would see preachers reading promises from the Torah and Prophets and interpret them solely in a symbolic way. They never made it clear those promises were addressed to Israel, and if we have part of them, it is because a Jew had mercy on us. Then it was Bat Melech, my sister:-) That girl never accepted "capital truths" only because someone said them. Bat Melech dug and kept on digging until she would understand. I will never forget how they recommended us to read the Gospel of Luke when we began our walk with Adonai. As a good Christian girl, I immediately complied. My sister went straight to the book of Isaiah. She would constantly tell me: "Check this out. Look at this verse" I also read it afterwards, and no other book in the Bible got me closer to God than Isaiah, perhaps because He speaks as if He opens up His heart widely and invites you to have a look.

My conclusion was, God never abandoned Israel and never will abandon Israel! Not only that, but whether some of my Christian brothers like this or not, they actually are first, because God calls Israel, His first born (Jeremiah 31:9b). I know Paul says there is no Greek or Jew anymore, but do forgive me if I choose to believe God more than Paul. If God abandoned Israel who are His first born, what guarantee do we have He will not do the same with us, who are just "branches in the olive tree". There is an eternal covenant between God and Israel. God compares it to a marriage. Did they go through some hard times together? Sure they did. What marriage doesn't? But who's business is to judge their marriage, anyway? Please show me one single situation where a husband and a wife have problems and then someone outside the marriage decides to call the marriage annulled without any of the two involved, having a word in it. Such an idea is ludicrous beyond belief. But that's what we've done in their case. We decided their "marriage" is no longer valid and stepped in. I do not follow a God who changes His mind every other millenia, I don't know about the rest.

Enough with the anti-semites, because the majority of the Christians support Israel and see them as God's chosen people. I am happy to say, I belong to such a church. But we live in a world where Israel is being accused again of every thing going wrong around her. I am sorry, but if Romania would look like a pit and we would have no current water or sewage, I think it would be pathetic to go and blame our Hungarian neighbours. Please show me another country that does this and is not laughed at.
How much do we, Christians, talk about this? How much do we even care? In the Arab countries they have soap operas on TV where they depict Jewish men kidnapping Christian children to make matzah, using their blood. Why don't we say anything? Why do we keep quiet?...

I did not write this article because I want to convince anybody of anything. I don't have the power to change anybody's mind if they don't want to hear something. I wrote all this, because when it comes to Israel, I will not keep quiet out of political correctness. I don't care how much of a fanatic someone might consider me.

I could carry on forever... it's the Shabbat today, the day dedicated to Adonai. So I'll let Him speak about them. Shabbat Shalom!

“Comfort, comfort my people,” says your God. “Speak tenderly to Jerusalem. Tell her that her sad days are gone and her sins are pardoned. Yes, the Lord has punished her twice over for all her sins.” (Israel 40:1-2)

"All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I myself will help you," declares the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel." (Isaiah 41:11-14)

"For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life." (Isaiah 43:3-4)

"Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself." (Jeremiah 31:3)

“This is what the Lord says: If you can break my covenant with the day and the night so that one does not follow the other, only then will my covenant with my servant David be broken. Only then will he no longer have a descendant to reign on his throne. The same is true for my covenant with the Levitical priests who minister before me. And as the stars of the sky cannot be counted and the sand on the seashore cannot be measured, so I will multiply the descendants of my servant David and the Levites who minister before me. The Lord gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, “Have you noticed what people are saying?—‘The Lord chose Judah and Israel and then abandoned them!’ They are sneering and saying that Israel is not worthy to be counted as a nation. But this is what the Lord says: I would no more reject my people than I would change my laws that govern night and day, earth and sky. I will never abandon the descendants of Jacob or David, my servant, or change the plan that David’s descendants will rule the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Instead, I will restore them to their land and have mercy on them.” (Jeremiah 33:20-26)

Gam Zeh Yaavor- This too shall pass

Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems

"You must be able to bear your sorrows; even if it seems to crush you, you will be able to stand up again, for human beings are so strong, and your sorrow must become an integral part of yourself...you mustn't run away from it, but bear it like an adult..." Etty Hillesum

Yesterday, I had one of those days, when you reach a point and all you want to do is lay down somewhere and not stand up again for a very long time...Then I got home and I saw a message from Bat Melech: "Gam Zeh Yavoor, Bat Tzion" (This too shall pass, daughter of Zion) and I remembered. Bat Melech, has this gift of expanding the picture back to its real size, at least in my life (todah, Bat Malech).
A couple of years ago, I heard a sermon of Richard Wurmbrand, and he was telling this story:

One day, prince Solomon was taking a walk through the palace garden. At some point he meets the King's jeweller, who seemed very upset. Prince Solomon asks him: "What has happened to you? Why are you so sad?"
"How could I not be sad, Your Highness", said the jeweller, "when His Majesty, just gave me an impossible task."
"What task?", prince Solomon asked.
"He asked me to make him a ring that will make smile when he is sad and cry when he is happy. How could I complete such a task? It's impossible!", said the desperate jeweller.
"Don't worry," replied prince Solomon "make him a simple gold ring and engrave on it "gam zeh yavoor", that way when he is sad he will remember that his sadness is only temporary and smile, and when he is happy he will remember that he is only temporary and cry."

Every time one of us is sad, Bat Melech and I remind each other "gam zeh yavoor, gam zeh yavoor". Because that is the real size of the picture, not what is going on around us. I said this before, time's only function is to pass and to take all of us with it with all its good and bad. Except God, everything else is "shadows and dust". Humans are but shadows, here today and gone tomorrow and at some point everything else that is created will turn to dust. So, no matter how bad things turn out, it is only temporary. Sometimes pain just lands in your life and knocks the breath out of you, but even that is temporary because within 60 seconds at most, you start breathing again. It's never as bad as it seems at that moment. Bat Melech has this saying: "He will not allow in my life more than I can bear, so if I am still here it means I can endure more."

Have you noticed how you can now go through things that use to make you say "I can't anymore. I simply cannot bear anymore"? You know what I think? You can bear it now, because you allowed pain to take it's place in you when it came along. You did not fight it like a child having a tantrum, you just accepted it in it's real size. And because of that you can now put up with it.
I have another sister. Bat Melech and I call her our adoptive sister:-) Her name is Ioana, and she's seen a lot... Ioana told me once, that pain is the main creative force in our life. Our mothers bring life in this world in pain, a caterpillar goes through pain until it become a butterfly. Everything that's beautiful and eternal is birthed through pain. That's what Yeshua taught us, when He came and paid the price.

Pain can be an enemy or a friend, but whatever it is to you, it won't spare you so you might as well accept is. I hated pain all my life. I would do anything not to go through it, numb it with anything, take my refuge in anything, only to avoid it. Then I read Etty Hillesum's notebooks, and my eyes opened: if I accept it, it will hit me in its real size every time, it will not be a tragedy each time it comes along, it will be just another feeling that I can go through the same way I go through joy. Pain is not this big giant that I need to run from as if hell would chase me. It is just another feeling like happiness, sadness, joy, gratitude. I don't run from joy, I carry it inside and experience it until it goes away. It's the same with pain. I might not enjoy it, but I can learn from it because pain is a good teacher when it comes to ones self. It shows us stripped of everything else. But you know what? Pain also passes and is replaced with something else. It's all part of this journey. So next time it comes along you tell yourself what Bat Melech tells me:

"Gam Zeh Yavoor- This too shall pass."

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." (Lamentations 3:21-26)

May you stay strong whatever comes along.

Emanuela

What God says about you

"What matters is what God says about you after everybody else stopped talking." Bob Gass

In the same way at some point I became close to obsessed to find out why God said about King David that he was "a man after His own heart", I had a similar moment with Jabez. He is very famous with some of my brothers and sisters because of his prayer, you can see it sold on book marks, bumper stickers you name it. I wanted to see what is so special about this prayer, because in my humble opinion, David's prayers in Psalms beat this one every day of the week, so surely there had to be more to it than just the words. Who was Jabez? The Bible talks about him in 1 Chronicles, you go along nicely reading the genealogy of the tribe of Judah, and all of the sudden at verse 9, it stops and states:
"Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez (Pain in Hebrew) saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request." (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)

That's it, then the verses simply pick up from 11 and continues the genealogy of Judah. No mention of who was the father of Jabez, nor who was the son of Jabez.
That seemed very unusual to me because normally genealogies tell who was the son of who and you can clearly see a chronology. In this case it looks as if God literally "interrupts" the genealogy of Judah to mention this man. Why?
Many use this prayer because it ends with "and God granted his request" as if there would be magic formula involved. I personally think, and I am sure I'm not the only one, that Jabez's prayer is about something else. It's about God's relationship with a man in two verses. God was so touched by this man, that he interrupted an entire genealogy to mention him and let us know that He listened to Jabez. I don't think it was necessarily about something Jabez said to God, I think it was simply the fact that Jabez "cried out to the God of Israel", he called upon God. The Bible is not clear on his origins, he might have not been from among the people of Israel, but he called upon the God of Israel. Out of all the things the Bible could have said about this man, it tells us he was destined to pain. In Judaism names are very important, they're not just names given to you because they sound nice, for Jews your name is your destiny, your identity, something your parents desire for you to become. His mother called him "Pain", but Jabez refused to accept this destiny and he cried out to the God of Israel. He understood that if somebody is able to re-write his destiny, that is the God of Israel.
His prayer is not a magic formula, it is actually a list: "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." Period. That's all that is recorded. We don't know what else he might have said to God to be granted what he requested. And quite frankly, I don't think God granted him something because of some promise Jabez made Him, that's why is all left somewhere in the air as if ...is due. I believe with all my heart that God granted Jabez what he wanted not because of his prayer, but because Jabez sought God's face, when no one else in his family did. When I first read, Jabez's prayer it gave me a feeling of: "Lord, God of Israel, when I came into this world they called me Jabez (Pain), please You make me Asher (Happy). And God granted his request.
Jabez seems to have found the secret of a transformed life- seek God's face. It really doesn't matter where you started from and the name people gave you. It doesn't matter if they destined you to pain and suffering, you seek God's face, because He is The One who will write the last page in your book, and trust me your epilogue will have nothing in common with your prologue after you lived before the Face of the Mighty One of Israel.

“ I will change your name. You will no longer be called wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid. I will change your name. Your new name shall be Confidence, Joyfulness, Overcoming One, Faithfulness, Friend of God, The One who seeks My face.”

Be blessed.

Emanuela

Adonai, am I lost?

"Jesus? he whispered as his voice chocked "I feel so lost". A hand reached out and squeezed his, and didn't let go. "I know, Mack. But it's not true. I am with you and I am not lost. I am sorry if it feels that way, but hear me clearly. You are not lost." (WM Paul Young, The Shack)

There is something I heard a lot lately, and because it didn't make to much sense to me, I decided to look at it closer, especially since I found myself thinking "could this be right?"
The theory in itself sounds something like "I have asked the Lord which way to go and what decision to make, but what if I miss it, what if I pass a blessing by?"
Is this even possible? Can I seek Adonai for guidance in all sincerity and still get lost and miss what He had for me? Not according to everything I found so far in the Bible. I could not find one single verse to support the theory "One day, you will get to Heaven and see all the blessings you passed by", which makes me think this is nothing else but an image a preacher once used in a sermon to make a point and somewhere along the way it was turned into "doctrine". However, if any of you finds a verse anywhere, do let me know.
So, if this theory doesn't have any support in the Bible, how come it seems to be so popular, that every time one of us is at a crossroad and has to make a decision, this thing pops up? I believe it's nothing else than a "nicely" design trick to distract us from the true question, the one question that will follow us until the end "Can your God be trusted?" It's not about the crossroad and it's not about the decision but it's very much about the answer I give myself to this question when I get to the crossroad- Can my God be trusted?

I will share some of the conclusions I got to whilst seeking an answer to my question:

• God invested time, effort and a great deal of patience and love in my life. He did not bring me this far only to now, abandon me to my own devices and allow me to end up on a completely wrong path. That will never happen. Not because of me, but because of His nature. God's heart reacts to trust: "...Then you will know that I am the Lord. Those who trust in me will never be put to shame.” (Isaiah 49:23b, NLT)

• He is not setting us up for failure. He knows what we are capable of and we know know what I am capable of without Him. He doesn't need to make a case study out of me just to prove that I mess up big time without Him. This has already been agreed on both sides. So if He would test anything through this situation, it will be the same thing- "Do you trust Me?". He knows that "we are but shadows and dust": "For He remembered that they were merely mortal, gone like a breath of wind that never returns." (Psalm 78:39, NLT)

• The only way I can miss something that God has for me, is if I live in disobedience. If He clearly tells me to go in one direction and I consciously disobey. We all know when we are in disobedience, because the first sign is complete loss of this peace we have inside. I am His and He is very much preoccupied with everything that is going on in my life. I know I belong to Him, and I know that little voice in my heart that guides me, because it's the same voice that "tells me off" when I go on doing my own thing. For those of you already thinking: "For goodness sake, Emma, now you're hearing voices?", you might call Him conscience, but I know His name:"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand." (John 10:27-29, NIV)

• The Bible says if I ask and seek wisdom, He will give it to me freely. Therefore it is impossible to ask for wisdom in a situation and get lost and completely miss it. There is no such thing as asking for wisdom to know which way to go and miss an opportunity. He guards my path. No one can take away from me what God intends to give me. So if I don't receive it, it wasn't mine in the first place:"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5, NIV) "For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him." (Proverbs 2:6-8, NLT)

• You never seek His face in vain. His will for your life is not this big secret that you don't stand a chance of discovering, He doesn't speak in codes only to make your life difficult, or worse, not speak at all. I don't even know where on earth are coming up with this images of Him. He wants us to know Him, Yeshua said that we know where He's going and we know the way there (John 14:4). It's not some frustrating game of hide and seek, it's a relationship: "I have not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; I have not said to Jacob's descendants, 'Seek me in vain.' I, the LORD, speak the truth; I declare what is right." (Isaiah 45:19,NIV)

• For as long as I look at Him, I can't get lost. If I learnt something in nine years, is this- even if I would get lost, He will always come after me. I am His and He will never let me go. Even if I would want to abandon Him, He would not give me up without a fight. Bat Melech said once in an article that even on my way to hell God will fight me every step of the way. With God I am not on this never ending exam where I pass or fail. He wants me to succeed, He wants me to make the right decision. If I don't know which way to go He will guide me (Psalm 32:8), if I don't know something and I seek Him, He will show me: "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." (Jeremiah 33:3)

Bottom line to all this, it's not about the crossroad and it's not about the decision, this is all a matter of trust. We love God and we will never openly distrust Him, so this doubt game is played in our mind, sometimes using scriptures (Luke 4:9-10) and all sorts of preaching imagery. The secret is- don't fall for it. You're not lost and you're not missing anything. You just keep following God. If you're thinking "You sound very sure, Emma? Do you have any proof? Yes, my God can be trusted. How do I know, last time I got to the edge of the cliff I jumped, and I am not only still here, but I am here standing. That's proof enough for me.

Be blessed.

Emanuela.

Be here now

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. " Matthew 6:34, The Message Bible

"Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is a gift- that's why we call it present." Kung Fu Panda

We seem to have this tendency to avoid the present. Some of us find it unfulfilling, others boring, some of us are just afraid to live- take a risk, make a decision, take that step. For others, it's either the past consuming them with what happened to them or what they did, or is the future as a form of escape from a past that hurts and a present that doesn't seem to bring anything. I personally chose to live everywhere else but in the present. Present meant choices and choices meant possible failure, so no thank you. Present is scary because you have to grab God's hand and take the step without knowing where you are going. You know the past and you can dream about the future, but present implies action now. You see, I had to learn that if I am serious about seeking God, than I have to start with the present because this is where God is for me. He is not limited by time and space, but I am. I can't travel back in time and I can't foresee the future, so if He wants to have a relationship with the limited me, it has to be here and now. All this meant I had to face my fears of living and of failure and that's something scary, to say the least. It was a good lesson though. I learnt that the past is frozen and it can no longer be altered so I don't focus on it anymore, and I learnt that there's no point in spending my hours trying to guess the future because it's not going to be like anything that I imagine now anyway. Who I am and what I do today, can be altered by the decisions that I make today. Present feels so real because it is the only moment in time that we can actually touch. The only function of time is to pass, and how I pass with it is my choice. To live in the present has it's benefits such as, preserving your energy- rather than running in three opposite directions that will lead to nowhere, you focus on one direction, one step at a time, determined not to give up. Another benefit, is that you are more difficult to distract. I heard a preacher once saying that the hell's strategy has always been the same for us- Distract, Discourage, Defeat. The only way I may focus on my goal is to look into one direction- ahead.
These days I have decisions to make and they're as frightening as they are exciting, but I am grateful to God for teaching me the lesson of the here and now. I'll go ahead and if it's failure, it will be another lesson that I learn:-)

"If God brought you to the edge of the cliff- jump. He will either catch you, or teach you how to fly."

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." (Isaiah 42:16)
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8)

Have a peaceful day.

Emanuela

Just be yourself

"When you try to be someone else, you have a double failure: First, you can't succeed in being the other person, because you lack the emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual tools that Hashem gave to that person. Second, when you attempt to be someone you're not, you fail to develop and to utilize your own unique Heaven-imbued attributes and skills...the daughter of The King beats the classroom queen any day of the week." Rabbi Lazer Brody

I heard once a story which has stuck with me through the years. A talmid goes to his rabbi and asks him: "Rabbi, teach me what should be my attitude towards those who judge me?" Rabbi says to him: "Son, go to that grave over there and you tell that grave the worst things that you could think about it." The talmid goes to the grave and for many hours he shouts the worst that he could think of, not understanding why on earth the rabbi sent him there. He goes again to the rabbi the next day and asks him: "Rabbi, how about my attitude towards the ones who praise me?" The rabbi says again: "Son, go to that grave over there and tell the grave the most beautiful words you can think of." The talmid goes again to grave, seriously questioning why would the rabbi ask him to go to a grave to learn something, and starts saying the best he could think of about the grave. The next day he goes to the rabbi and says: "Rabbi, I know you sent me to the grave over there to learn, but I didn't learn to much? Why have you sent me there?" The rabbi answered: "Son, I sent you to the grave so that you will learn to have the same attitude towards the people who judge you or praise you. Did the grave have any reactions to your judging or your praising? You be as silent as a grave."

The story is funny in a way, but very true. How many times does people's opinion about us shape who we are and how we act. There seems to be a deep desire in us for acceptance, for fitting in, for not being the odd one in the crowd, but what is the price we end up paying for this? In my case it was my own personality. After I moved to England I wanted so badly to fit in, to be accepted that I started copying their lifestyle, the way they would interact, the way they would speak and so forth. English are very polite people, they are so polite that they rather tell you many white lies and go around the bush until they get dizzy, rather than be considered rude or offensive. In a way I love this about them, I even find it endearing sometimes, but it suffocated the Romanian in me. And I am Romanian. If I was to describe the Romanians to you, they would be the exact opposite. Romanians tell you to your face exactly how things are, and if you don't like it, tough. They are what English will call blunt, and what I would call real. So every time I would leave Romania, I would abandon that Emma at the airport in order that I may fit in the British society and not feel like "an Englishman in New York":-)

Needless to say, you lose yourself if you do this. I will never be English because I am not meant to be one, so if I do not allow myself to be Romanian than what am I?

It was a great day when I understood, that I can be myself and still be accepted. I am not saying some people don't think I am too blunt, but that's who I am and I love it. My friend Lucy, posted a great quote on Facebook one day. It said: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter won't mind and those that mind won't matter." This is not to say, step over other people's feelings and thoughts only because that's how you feel. That's not realness, that's selfishness and it doesn't have anything to do with our God. I am just saying, what makes us precious is our uniqueness. If we all imitate each other only to be accepted and not be judged than we are something God did not create, we're just something this world managed to mutilate. Children are my teachers in matters of realness. They are just themselves because they don't know how to be someone else. They are beautiful and unique and refreshing.

That's how I want to be. My focus is to be pleasing to God and He said He wants us to be like children- trusting and real. I know that if my heart speaks before the throne of God in heaven, He will speak for me before the sons of men. It's not my business to justify myself or impress anybody. I am just me and I belong to God, and I love the freedom this brought in my life. I am free to love people as they are and not be defensive. After all, they only try to be themselves, just as I do.

"How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you." (Psalm 31:19)

Be blessed and remember the greatest favour you can do to this world is do your best at being yourself.

Emanuela

Bat Melech- Daughter of The King

"Sometimes you meet your destiny on the way you take to avoid it." Kung Fu Panda

"In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall" (Psalm 18:29)

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who brings good news, the good news of peace and salvation, the news that the God of Israel reigns!" (Isaiah 52:7)

Her name is Bat Melech, and I personally think this name suits her better than the one our parents gave her. She's been my best friend since I can remember and we've been everywhere together through thik and thin. If I have not given up on myself so far is because no matter how bad I ended up, (and trust me I do not exaggerate) somehow Bat Melech chose to see good in me. She will not like it at all that I put her on my "hall of fame" next to Joseph, David, the Man Jesus and Paul, but this is my blog and I am writing about my teachers, the ones who influenced my walk, and she's up there with them.

We talked all the time when we were in the same country (we can carry on for hours at end) and we talk all the time now. We discuss about things Adonai does in us, we debate, we analyse, we think and somehow at the end of a conversation, I find myself going and writing things down, because I realise I learnt something new. Her destiny will forever be linked to Israel, I can't think about Israel without thinking of Bat Melech or the other way around. I remember, when we started our walk with God, I read the Gospel of Luke, she read Isaiah:-)

She knows me better than anyone else, because she had the love and patience to stick by me when I wasn't so lovable. She was the first one who started challenging me about my walk with God (I will be honest, it was more of a crawling than walking, because I was landing on my face every other week). I remember in 2006, I was going through a "mid-twenties crisis" (or at least that's my excuse) and I called her in tears telling her "I've had it, I'm giving up. I tried, but I can't make it. This is too hard." I felt like God brought me here away from all that's familiar, only to abandon me because I am useless, so I might as well give up before He goes. Bat Melech listened to my childish mumblings and when I calmed down she started telling me about the Canaanite Woman (Matthew 15:21-28):

"Leaving that place, Yeshua withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession." Yeshua did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us." He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel." The woman came and knelt before him. "Lord, help me!" she said. He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs." "Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table." Then Yeshua answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour."

The woman did not give up, until she melted Yeshua's heart with her faith. Bat Melech then asked me: "When do you give up, Emma? When humans say no? When you say no? When even God says no? How desperate are you? That woman knew she had just one more chance, that she had nothing else left, that unless Yeshua did something there and then, that would be the end for her daughter. She knew she was not entitled to His help, but she was too desperate to care anymore, she was at the end of her rope and she knew He was the answer." When I told her I feel like I can't see anything anymore, like it's all dead, Bat Melech told me that because of Yeshua's death, the power of His resurrection is over everything in my life, including dead dreams and visions about the future. She told me to go cry before God for what is mine and not stop until I see it live again. I would have given up that day, but God sent Bat Melech, as He did so many times in my life. Everytime I was frustrated with myself for not being all that I should be, she taught me how to give myself grace, she told me you learn patience by being patient and you are not born gentle but you become gentle by enduring through hard times.

I know she hates me mentioning all this, but I am a firm believer that you should tell people what they mean to you and the way they impacted your life for as long as you have a chance because when you don't have them anymore, frankly it really doesn't matter how many things you had to say. I know many people who's lives she touched. She said to me once: "Emma, light doesn't make a noise, light just shines." I know she has her own battles and I know she's also learning every day from others whom God uses in her life, but my point is Bat Melech shined in my life, and when she made a noise it was to make me laugh.

Todah rabah, Bat Melech.

Emanuela

That I may know Him...

"Seek until you find, do not give up. And pray even if you think you can't believe anymore, because God listens even to the unbeliever when they lose hope. God will help you go through all disappointment and hardship. Do not give up and above all else avoid distractions that you know might deter you from what you truly want. If you happen to fall, stand up and carry on in your walk. For as long as a man does not discover something to die for, he is not prepared to live." Johann Cristoph Arnold

I remember a really funny story, my friend Andreea David, told me. She was in church sitting next to one of the tallest man I personally ever met, an American missionary in Romania. At some point the preacher from the front, trying to be all entertaining said: "I am in love with a man, His name is Jesus", at which point Andreea shouted: "Amin" but the American missionary said: "Easy for you to say!" (presumably because Andreea is a girl:-) That's what I think Paul was- he was in love with Yeshua and out of love he committed to Yeshua's cause to such a degree that he still amazes us today. For Paul, knowing Jesus became close to obsession, telling others about Him the purpose of his life: "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..." (Philippians 3:10).

I think he was always an extremely dedicated man. He was the talmid (disciple) of Gamaliel, one of the greatest Rabbi of his time, he was a Roman citizen and he spoke several languages. When he defended Judaism, he defended it with the passion of a mad man. After he met Yeshua Ha Mashiach he dedicated all his life to Him and to speaking about what He's done. He suffered a lot for what he believed, but he was resilient: "I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches." (2 Corinthians 11:26-28)
He found his strength in Yeshua and he carried own: "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me... For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10b)

I love Paul's letters to his churches, through them he taught me this life I'm living for God is to be taken seriously, not taken for granted just because Yeshua paid the price not me. He taught me guilt is in the past and has got nothing to do with my present, and that if I want to run to my target, guilt is a burden that will either slow me down or stop me completely: "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)
He also taught me that when you speak passionately about what you believe in, you might not be very popular with everybody and some might thing you're a fanatic, but that should not deter you in any way: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)
Paul wrote his letters to the churches he planted, addressing specific issues of those times but many of those issues have a spiritual an practical application today. These letters became doctrinal treasures for the Christian church and I personally consider they contain enough passion, eloquence and beauty to touch you and change you forever. But I see to many believers putting the content of these letters above anything else in the Gospels or the Torah and the Prophets (unless we talk about promises God made to Israel, we happily take those). That's how you meet church goers, heart broken because they are judged for not having their head covered, wearing a skirt, men for having long hair, you name it. My opinion is that Paul's purpose in life was to share the Gospel to the Gentiles, to teach us how to love as Yeshua loved and to live like Yeshua did. I think he would be very disappointed to see what his Gospel became in many churches today. With my apologies for those who do not consider The Message translation, a version of the Bible, I will use it anyway because of the way it explains theses verses (please feel free to use any other version to compare):

"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion." (Philippians 2:2-7)
With the Jews Paul was a Jew and with the Greeks he was a Greek, he could speak with the humble ordinary man in the market or debate with the Epicurean philosophers in the Athenian Areopagus, but he did not care about his image or fame one bit. Paul lived for Yeshua and died for Yeshua: "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21) This doesn't mean he was on some sort of suicidal mission. It just means he was a completely free man, he feared nothing and there wasn't anything you could take away from him, because he carried his treasure on the inside: "For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." (1 Timothy 6:7)

Have a blessed day.

Emanuela

In the end He will stand upon this earth

"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! (Job 19:25-27)

Today I want to write about Yeshua (Jesus), the One who refused to give up out of love. We heard so many about Yeshua- stories, sermons, comments, songs, we've seen painting, pictures, movies, all telling us about Him. We tend to see Him either as a victim hanging on the cross or as God sitting on the throne, but Yeshua also had to walk this walk, make decisions and fight for what He believed just as we do. He's also been offered shortcuts from the road that would cost Him, just like we do every single day: “I will give you the glory of these kingdoms and authority over them,” the devil said, “because they are mine to give to anyone I please. I will give it all to you if you will worship me.” (Luke 4:6-7)
He was also rejected, disappointed by people, hurt, misunderstood, but He refused to give up because He knew what was at stake here- it was not about Him it was about you and I: "He will not falter or be discourage till he establishes justice on earth. In his law the islands will put their hope." (Isaiah 42:4)

He knew He was not alone, He found His strength in The Father and He carried on: "Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame. He who gives me justice is near. Who will dare to bring charges against me now? Where are my accusers? Let them appear!" (Isaiah 50:7-8). I also love the verse in John which says: "Yeshua knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God."
We want to follow His example, but we find that as a bit of a daunting task. We come up with excuses, such as "Yeah, but He was God and I am only human" Have you ever tried to look at The Son of Man rather than The Son of God? I know you can't really separate them, that they are one and the same, but I am talking about a principle here not about doctrines. Bottom line to all this is He found it just as hard as you and I, but He didn't stop.
If I were to ask you why are you following Him, I am sure you will tell me "Because I love Him, because I believe Him…" and that's absolutely the right reason. But can I ask you something? Are you still waiting for Him or is that thought somewhat alien to you? We are so trapped in miracles, church growth, saving souls, programmes, callings, gifts, that it seems to me these days nobody is excited anymore about Him coming back. We more likely think about dying and going to Heaven, than actually thinking He might be coming back tomorrow, next week, next year. We stopped getting excited and it saddens me, because we are supposed to wait for Him as a bride waits for her groom. I remember I was wearing my wedding dress, the Anglican priest was in front of me and I was tapping my foot wanting for him to move so that I can see my Daniel at the end of the aisle. I am convinced in my heart that He is excited about seeing His bride, that He can't wait to be with us to show us everything, share everything with us, be with us forever. This is why He paid the price, this why He did not give up. I was a young child somewhere in a church, in village in Romania when I heard the pastor preaching about the parable of the ten virgins, and I understood he was talking about not being ready for when He comes back, forgetting that He ever comes back: "When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep." (Matthew 25:5).
I don't want to forget, I make it my mission not to forget. Yesterday, I was at work and it all became narrowed to the here and now and I hated it because somehow it detaches me from Him. I know the thought that you have to be able to feel Him everywhere sounds all nice and spiritual, but it's a bit more difficult when your phone is ringing and you have to explain rules and regulations to lawyers and solicitors. I read a posting on a blog that talked about how He created us in an amazing beautiful way, a loving way, that He put His heart into creating each one of us and that makes us precious, and the narrow expanded back to the true picture- I am His and He is coming after me (thank you, Cella). That's why I'm not giving up, that's why I will not stop. Because there is a purpose in all this. The Man Yeshua saw it, and we have to see it:
"He will see the result of the suffering of his soul and be satisfied. By his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities." (Isaiah 53:11) "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." (John 17:24, Yeshua's prayer before He was arrested)

The most important thing Yeshua taught me was how to be God's child and then He taught me how to discover the purpose and fight for it until the end.
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away...He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son." (Revelation 21:1-4,7)

Be blessed today.

Emanuela

I will wait for Him

"Only for God doth my soul wait in stillness; from Him cometh my salvation.He only is my rock and my salvation, my high tower, I shall not be greatly moved." King David (Psalm 62:2-3, Hebrew Bible)

I began writing Sunday about resilience and refusal to give up. Why do I keep going on about this? Because, I believe when you begin to walk with God all of the sudden you find yourself fighting on two separate fronts- there is your every day coming and going paying bills, go to work fight. And then there is the fight with yourself. Your heart wants to follow Him because it loves Jesus, your habits though are of a different mind and they drag you into the opposite direction, so you find yourself fighting on the inside as well. You will hold your ground for as long as you know the truth (read your Bible) and refuse to give up. Some of us take the same trip so many times that it's a wonder we're not dizzy by now, but for as long as we don't stop we can always make it. What do I actually mean by giving up? Well, that's simple- decide this is not for you and turn your back on Him for good (if you can:-)

I was saying the other day, that I have some teachers in this lesson. One of them was Joseph, another one that I am going to talk about today is King David. We could talk for months about King David and probably still find there are things we have not touched on, so I will not even attempt to go in depth here.

I guess David's story with God began long before the Bible starts mentioning him. It began in the wilderness, it's there where David discovered Adonai. He wasn't too popular with his brothers either and he was also just a boy when he was called. David was anointed king by prophet Samuel in front of all his family, it was a promise from God with many witnesses, but it took years until it came true. Lets just say you receive a clear notification you won £50,000,000 on the lottery and that the money are on their way to you, but you carry on for years struggling financially without seeing a penny. How long will it pass until you start calling the person who told you about the lottery a liar? David, not only didn't do that but acted at all time like the anointed one, preparing for what was waiting for him:

" He trains my hands for battle, my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and Your right hand sustains me; You stoop down to make me great." (Psalm 18:34-35)

David taught me many things. He taught me how to seek God and to related to Him as to a person not some entity somewhere, how to be real with God and tell Him exactly what I feel and think. When David was happy, he told God how happy he was (Psalm 21:1), if he felt abandoned by God, he asked God why has He abandoned him (Psalm 10:1), if David was depressed and confused, that's what he told God (Psalm 55:4-8). He never tried to sound more spiritual, nor did he wait until he sorted his act out in order to approach God: "You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from You" (Psalm 69:5)
He just went to God as he was, and every time David discovered that he was not rejected. Because of this David learnt to trust God more than anyone else and God ended up saying about David, that he was a man after His own heart. I was obsessed for a long time to find out why did God say that about David? The answer I personally found was that God loved David's realness and trust in Him. God was so touched by the way David loved Him and sought Him all his life that hundreds of years after David's death, He was still forgiving people and making promises "because of His servant, David":

"I will defend this city and save it, for My sake and for the sake of David, My servant" (Isaiah 37:35)

One of my favourite chapters in the Bible is 1 Samuel 30. David returns from joining the Philistines for war and finds his city, Ziklag, burnt to the ground and all the women and children taken slaves by the Amalekites. David and his men become desperate and "weep until they have no more strength to weep". Out of despair his men talk amongst themselves to kill David because they blame him for what happened. David was just as desperate as they were, but he acts like a king even though he wasn't one yet:
"...each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord, his God." (1 Samuel 30:6)
Instead of staying there crying, he asks for the ephod (a vestment worn by ancient Hebrew priests) and goes to God "Shall I pursue them?" God tells him yes, and David goes after them. He fights the Amalekites for two days, but he takes back every thing and enough plunder to send gifts to the elders of Judah. Helpful, when you consider next David becomes king of Judah and then of all of Israel. Ziklag is David's final test and he passes it with flying colours, because he doesn't despair, doesn't give up just because it looks impossible and mainly because he chooses to trust God no matter what. Just as Joseph, David was 30 years old when he became the king of Israel. He also probably waited for about 15 years for that crown, from the moment God anointed him as king until he actually became king, but the lessons he learnt in these years made him into the amazing king that he became- a warrior with a poet's soul, in love with God.

No matter how bad he had it, no matter how difficult it all became, I could not find one Psalm written by David which does not end something like: "But, my trust is in the Lord" He taught us to say: "The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)

We all look at him now and see the mighty King David, but he also had a journey, just like ours. Everyday, he also had to choose not to give up, just like we have to. He wasn't born a king, he learnt how to become one.

May the Lord bless you and keep you strong.

Emanuela

Early morning thoughts

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities- His eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that man are without excuse." (Romans 1:20)

"When I consider Your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him. You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honour. You made him ruler over the works of Your hands; You put everything under his feet...O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your Name in all the earth." (Psalm 8:3-6, 9)

Lord, thank you for creating butterflies. They taught me you might not have a "glorious" start, but if you carry on and break free of what's holding you back, nothing can stop you from becoming a flying beauty. Talk about beauty, how beautiful are You if this is what you create?

Emanuela

Why should I carry on?

"Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience. Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience – refusing to give up."

" You may have a fresh start every time you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mark Pickford

I think one of the greatest miracles God performed in me was to teach me how to encourage myself in Him, how to grab Him with both hands and pick myself up. To teach me this, He brought me to a foreign country, away from my family and all that's familiar. He knew I would've never left out of my own decision, so He put this love for England in my heart and then He went a step further and brought my husband in my life. In this country, I learnt that I am never alone, that I have to grow up, that I have to stand up if I fall and that giving up is not an option for me. I had great teachers, their names are: Joseph, David, Jesus, Paul and Bat Melech.

I'll carry on talking about Joseph today, because we all love his story. Joseph's story is the story of the dreams coming true, a happy ending story and that's how we all look at it at a first glance. But there's more to it, and every time I read his story I seem to find something else that I missed. For me Joseph's story seems to be a sort of partnership between a boy and God- God did not give up o Joseph and Joseph did not give up on God. I love the way Moses starts writing the story of the nation of Israel: "This is the account of Jacob (Israel). Joseph..." (Genesis 37:2) Joseph was chosen to continue the story of the "eternal people", but this brought him problems from the start, because people looked at him and they could not see what God saw. It was the same with all the people that God choose. Because people can't see the true you, they force upon you a picture that they see. It is up to you whether you accept their picture, or you get stubborn enough to believe an image of you that you can't yet see from a God your eyes cannot behold and your hands cannot touch.

When his brothers threw him in the pit, amongst screaming and crying, Joseph probably asked God to get him out of there, but God didn't get him out. I had to understand that there will be many hard and painful things that God will not get me out of, no matter how much I will pray, and that the only answer I can have is "I will not give up!" I can't stop and I can't turn my back on Him. Joseph could have turned his back forever on God, tell Him: "What's the point of serving You, if You don't even listen to me?" But he did not give up on God and God did not give up on Joseph: "The Lord was with Joseph and he prospered...when his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favour in his eyes and became his attendant...the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph." (Genesis 39:2,3,5)

I can testify that if you hold on to Him for dear life, and you refuse to give up, the Lord blesses your life. When Potiphar's wife tries to tempt Joseph, he remembers the Lord and he refuses to give into sin: "How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9b) Joseph does not give up on his decision and refuses to sin against God and as a result... he "lands" in prison. It is very important when you do good and get a slap in the face for it, to remember that perhaps the picture is a lot bigger than you see and not to give up, that it might not look that way, but God is still with you: "The Lord was with him, He showed him (Joseph) kindness and granted him favour in the eyes of the prison warder. So the warder put Joseph in charge of all those who were held in prison, and was made responsible for all that was done there." (Genesis 39:21-22)

My belief is that when something is repeated several times in a chapter of the Bible, is because the Lord wants to make us pay attention to something. In this case, I think the repetition tells us: "I did not abandon Joseph. Were Joseph went, I went." After many years of "partnership", Joseph learns to recognise God in what happens to him, and gives God the place that is rightfully His. When later on Pharaoh's servants praise him for his ability to interpret dreams, Joseph tells them: "interpretations belong to God" (Genesis 40:8), when Pharaoh asks him for an interpretation for his terrible dreams, again Joseph says to him: "I cannot do it...but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires" (Genesis 41:16)
By now God was probably smiling when He heard Joseph. This man went from pain to pain, all he encountered from his fellow men was injustice, but somewhere along that road, Joseph met EL Elohe Israel (The God of Israel), and he was no longer able to give up. Joseph was a teenager when they sold him. Young enough for all to call him boy, but old enough for Jacob to send him to his brothers. When he became prime minister of Egypt, Joseph was 30 years old but all along this years he refused to give up. He called his first son Manasseh (Forget, in Hebrew) and he said: "It is because God made me forget all my trouble and my father's household." (Genesis 41:51)
I ask myself how badly did he miss his father all those years? I understand that pain so well. You can carry on for days and then all of the sudden it is as if this knife is stuck in your heart and refuses to go away. In my case I end up making a flight reservation right away, because I know it will not stop until I land in Romania. All that Joseph had as comfort was God and maybe a dream that one day he will see his father again. But God made him forget his pain. He called his second son Ephraim (Twice fruitful, in Hebrew) and he said: "It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering" (Genesis 41:52) From more or less 15 years of pain and injustice, this is all that Joseph chose to remember- that God helped him forget his pain and made him fruitful! He chose to praise God rather than meditate on the bitter pain. I love the moment, when Joseph finally sees the whole picture, when he perhaps gets his answer to the question that must've gone round and round in his head for years: "Why, God? Why?" He tells his brothers: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20) He suffered all that to save a whole nation from starvation.

Yes, he had a dream that maybe didn't make to much sense to him and yes, God fulfilled those dreams He gave Joseph when he was just a boy, but I think what will always remain with me from Joseph's story is his refusal to give up. He did not give up on waiting for God and God did not give up on him. I was stubborn all my life, but I also was a quitter that hated and ran from pain. Why have I called what God has done in me a miracle? Because in His infinite wisdom, somehow God took my stubbornness, molded it and turned it into refusal to give up. I don't know what your story is, and I don't want to sound patronising at all, but if God has done this with an arrogant boy and a quitter like me, I know He will do it with anybody, if He sees just a little glimpse of will in there.

Be blessed.

Emanuela

What about my dream?

"I dream and go on dreaming for I must; a man without a dream is dead already; he has given up the race of life; he has not yet reached the peak and has stopped pursuing it. Turned to able down the hill again and leave this life unfulfilled, a man of emptiness, settling for small things, that don't really satisfy! He leaves no mark on this world, oh God, don't let me be that man! Though I may slip and fall, help me to keep on climbing, and though each brow reveals another, and another and the peak is yet beyond may I keep pursuing, as a man possessed, possessed by God. Moved by vision, stirred by passion, invincible within. May no cliff face defect me, no rock fall deter me, no difficulty hold me back, and may I never, never head down that hill again and let life's goal delude me! Oh my God, be my Beacon, my Companion, my Guide and Helper, my Strength and Life. May I climb in the footsteps on the One who climbed the Golgotha's hill, who set His face like a flint, with resolution of steel, who turned not back but turned that hill into the greatest hill of history, achieving there the greatest victory this world has ever known..." (From the prayer of dreams yet unfulfilled)

This is for you out there, who are waiting for your dream and have been waiting perhaps for years. This is for you out there who maybe had a dream at some point but buried it because waiting for it simply hurts to much.
I might not be the most authorised person to write about dreams yet unfulfilled, but I'll do it anyway, because I see so many souls around me who just give up or are about to. I see passion everyday, because I am married with a musician. You should see his eyes when he talks about music or alternatively when you try to take music away from him for even one day:-) I don't know what my husband would be without music, but I am pretty sure he would be less complete. I have people so dear to my heart who are waiting for years to see their dream come true and they still talk about it as if it will happen tomorrow. Regardless whether they feel it everyday or not, they refuse to give up on their dream. These people are my teachers on matters of passion and dreams yet unfulfilled.

Dreams are fragile, they seem to come out of nowhere, just spring up inside us and then they refuse to die. What do you do with such a dream? I read once that "a dream from God will carry you when you can't carry it anymore" and I asked myself- what's a dream from God? How do I know a dream is from God? I guess the answer lies in how much is that dream a part of you, where do you begin and the dream ends? How easy is it to kill it? Can you kill it? What price are you ready to pay for it?

God gave Joseph a dream (Genesis 37). He never confirmed that dream to Joseph in words. He certainly didn't have a prophet laying hands on him confirming his dream "Thus says the Lord..." Not long after God gave him the dream Joseph was in the pit, in darkness with a muddy wall in from of his nose. He was just a teenager. Probably all that went through that boys mind was: "What about my dream?" He was hearing his brothers plotting: "Shall we kill him, shall we sell him?" He could hear the coins being counted, the slave traders getting ready to pull him out and carry him away. Everything went from bad to worse. "What about my dream? God, what about my dream?" Nowhere in all of Joseph's story does it say "and Joseph lost heart" or "Joseph lost his hope". Everywhere he ended up, Joseph would eventually be in charge, because Joseph refused to give up. Joseph reigned in his life and everyone around him saw it. When he reached his dream, it wasn't his position that gave him the status and the authority. Joseph learnt all that while overcoming situations. I know this might sound harsh, but perhaps Joseph's dream was even more impossible than yours is. What were the odds of a slave becoming the prime minister of Egypt in those times? Stop for a second and put yourself in his situation and his world. If you think you're having a bad day, can you imagine a bad day in the life of the slave Joseph. He must've had countless days when everything shouted at him: "Give up, Joseph! Stop being stupid. It will never happen. Where is your God now, Joseph? Just lay there and die." But Joseph got stubborn. Perhaps it didn't start for Joseph as "I'm going to be the prime minister of Egypt one day". He just knew something was different about himself. Perhaps later the dream that kept Joseph going was "One day...one day, I'll see my father and my country again." Whatever that dream was and whatever it became, God gave a teenage boy a dream, and the dream carried Joseph when Joseph couldn't carry the dream anymore.

Maybe you can put your dream in words and describe it in detail, or maybe it is just this longing in your heart and the only way you know it's your dream is because every time you hear about something related to it, your heart starts to beat faster and you fell so full of passion. Whatever your dream is or will become, don't give up on it. Don't bury it somewhere hoping it will go away and take the pain with it when it goes. I am convinced the only way you can know for sure it will never happen, is if you give up!

"Then you will know that I am the Lord. Those who trust in me will never be put to shame.” (Isaiah 49:23b)

May your dreams come true.

Emanuela