Not "why" but "to what end"?

I started reading Philip Yancey's "Reaching for the invisible God". I love Philip Yancey's books. I have not read one of them which did not challenge me or changed my perspective on things. He dares to ask questions and address issues in our walk with God, that sometimes make me think "You can't ask that/say that", but there wasn't one of his books I read which did not make me a more determined child of God. Books like "Where is God when it hurts?" or "Disappointment with God" made me understand that when I hurt God is right there in my pain, and that He is not to blame for everything that goes wrong on a fallen planet on which we have free will, that at the end of the day if anyone is entitled to feel disappointed that would be Him, not me. Still He doesn't seem to be...but carries on calling me His own.

This book I'm reading is asking a basic question-How do you have a relationship with someone you can't see or touch? In every relationship you enter, you know what to expect from that person, what can you expect to find when you reach for God? I started reading it because I heard so many things about God throughout my life, that last year I decided to drop it all and start from scratch. Something like: "Good morning, dear God. My name is Emma, and I would really like to know YOU." So I am analysing everything I was ever told, everything I ever heard preached or I read myself, because I understood that this walk and whether I make it to the end victorious has a lot to do with what I believe about God. My trust in Him will be heavily affected by what I believe, and if I don't trust Him, I can't approach Him.

Bat Melech always tells me that the wisdom of a man shows not in how much he knows but in the questions he asks. It is my responsibility to ask questions and seek, because at the end I will not be able to blame my pastor or Philip Yancey, for that matter, for any of my decisions. One of the questions that transpires from the book is- why do we find it so hard at times to trust God, even though we love Him? Perhaps, it has a lot to do with all the times we've been told from the pulpit or we read for ourselves: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28), but then we saw time and time again, that they don't- we still had to go through pain, illness, broken hearts...
The actual Greek translation is: " In everything that happens, God works for good with those who love Him." And I noticed this to be true everytime. Because even though I did not go only through good things, I always felt Him near and there was always this assurance in me, that somehow He will bring me through. And so far He did, blessed be His faithfulness.
Why is it so important to ask ourselves the right questions in our relationship with God? I think it is vital, because that way you avoid placing on God expectations which have got nothing to do with His nature. For example "God, please change this or that persons heart." He will never do that, simply because that would mean Him interfering with that persons free will. If He would do that, He would make sure you will love Him with all you've got and never sin again. But He's not in the business of creating robots. So expectations like that are wrong from start. However, you see it not happening and it makes you doubt. You end up piling doubt on top of doubt and you end up disappointed and turning your back on God, because He doesn't do what you expected Him to do. And it all started with you having a wrong opinion of Him, asking the wrong questions and persisting in it.

One of the questions we all ask when going through hard times is- why? "Why do I go through this?", "Why is God allowing this?", "Why doesn't He make it stop?" Job persisted in this question for chapters, wanting desperately to hang on to God, but at the same time wanting an answer. Yancey says: "If the book of Job teaches one lesson, especially in God's speech at the end, it is that human beings have no business, let alone competence, in trying to figure out all the intricacies of why things happen. Instead God challenges Job to do better...Divine providence is a mystery that only God understands, and belongs to what I have called "The Encyclopedia of Theological Ignorance" for a simple reason: no time-bound human, living on a rebellious planet, blind to the realities of the unseen world, has the ability to comprehend such answers- God's reply to Job in a nutshell."

So if you ask "Why", it is quite likely you will not find an answer. My question is how many unanswered "whys" can you handle before you go down the doubt and disappointment route? Yancey comments on the story of the blind man from birth, in John 9. The disciples when seeing the man, immediately ask the natural question-why? Who sinned to bring on this punishment, the blind man or his parents? Jesus answers: "Neither this man, nor his parents sinned, but this happen so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." What Jesus does is change their focus from "why" to another question "To what end?"
The answer to this question always gave me strength to face anything, because it makes me feel like I belong to something far greater than what I can see. The conclusion I am always left with is: "I might not get it now, but I will one day. So I'm not about to change my mind about God just because I don't get it. I am not giving up, I'll carry on." To what end? I don't know. Does it matter more than what I have with God? Absolutely not. I am in a relationship with Him, it might sound like a strange concept in some people's ears, but I think God respects my intelligence enough to share something with me, if He things I can carry it. But what use would be some information to me, if I would not be able to get it anyway? What I need to know, I will know, everything else He can keep hold of, because He's God not me.