I'm done with running

"I'm free! I'm free!" my heart is screaming

While anchors hold me down

From under waves that push me under

I pray "Don't let me drown!"

Running is what has brought me here

Running from the me I hide

I thought the running will surely prove it

That she is gone and that she died.

But she's not gone, she's still pursuing

My days, my dreams, the boat I sailed

Through pouring clouds of guilt and pain

I heard "I'm here and you failed!"

"You are not me!" I shouted

And then jumped overboard

I rather drown a thousand times

Than be like her again, dear Lord.

I know I'm not Your Jonah

I don't expect a fish

I just know that these murky waters

Are not Your plan, nor my true wish.

"What do you want, My girl?" I hear You

"Why all this pointless endless running?

Can you not see at all, My daughter?

I made you free and yet you're dying."

"You're free! You're free!", I hear You whisper

There's nothing wrong with you

You are just learning and you're growing

My girl, you are not split in two!

Yes, you still fall and yes, you're failing

But in all that there's nothing wrong

The falling teaches you to stand

And failing's teaching you a new song."

I hear that song while You are speaking

And it keeps saying that I'm free

That one like me should not be running

That there's no split of "her and me".

So I rise up from underneath

And swim back to the shore

And I embrace the me I was scorning

For now I know she makes me whole.

And we will overcome together

What's haunting her and makes me run.

They thought they'll make us hate each other

But we are one or we are none!