I can't explain God

"Don't, enemy, crow over me. I am down but I am not out. I'm sitting in the dark right now, but God is my light." (Micah 7:8, TM)

Monday morning, I returned from Romania. It was so good to see all my friends and family, even though the things that some of my dear ones go through...if you don't walk with God you can't help but comment, and if you walk with Him well, you can't help but keep your mouth shut. I came back from Romania with two thoughts about God. First, He is good all the time, whether I can feel it or not and second, sometimes what He does has no logic.

They taught me in church to stick to my faith "by the book" and I will see the effects:-) This sort of theories are enough to make me laugh now. Tell this to friends of mine who never cleared off doing their own thing, who never abandoned God for a bit of "fun", who always prayed, always sought, always hoped and always told me: "God is good, no matter what He allows in my life, Emma. God is good, and nothing will change that." Try to go and tell someone who waited for more than half of their lives for God's promise and never turned their back on God, you go and tell them they don't believe enough, or that they shouldn't lose their hope, or that God is faithful and they should wait... I don't know what to tell them. I don't know how to explain God to them (not that is any of my right to do it). God can't be explained by theology, God can only be trusted. I would dare any pastor to listen to my friend, Ioana's life story, or my sister, Bat Melech, and try to explain God to me. But you know what, my friend Ioana was speaking from the front of the church Sunday morning, as broken as she was, telling us how God is good and how He should be loved and trusted, and my sister is telling thousands of people reading her blog how God is there for her and how even though she is now nothing but desert, God is counting every grain of sand that she became because only He knows how she was before she became desert.

I can't explain God. I can't do it for weeks at end now. I don't know why I am going through this phase of my life now, when I became "public"... I wish I could tell you all how to be happy and enjoy your lives, that's why I started to write this blog...What I can tell you though, is that if you will ever happen to end up here, where Ioana, Bat Melech or I are right now, I can certify He is absolutely present, because we feel held tight.

Be blessed

Emma