Now we are free

"Do not treat prophecy as if it were unimportant. But test everything. Keep what is good" 1 Thessalonians 5:20-21, NCV

"I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me." John 15:15, NLT

In 2009 I took a conscious decision to put everything I thought I knew about God and being God's child to one side and start from the beginning by asking questions. Jews believe that a man shows his wisdom not by what he says but by the questions he asks. So, I am questioning everything, especially myself. Just as an example if I say to myself "I am more than conqueror through Christ" (Romans 8), I've trained my mind to ask an immediate question "What does that mean?" If I can't answer myself straight away, I stop right there and start seeking. I always question myself because I want to know what I believe not just believe something because it sounds good. I don't know what this life holds for me. But I know the only way I will stand tall in what I believe is if I understand it. Apostle Peter writes in his first letter to churches "Always be ready to answer everyone who asks you to explain about the hope you have" (1 Peter 3:15) How could I possible answer someone who is asking me why I believe what I believe if I don't understand it myself? And trust me working with lawyers means that I am being asked some difficult questions and they are not the type of people to accept generic phrases.

I wrote once in a blog posting: “I believe being faithful is just as simple as saying always no matter what "I love you, Father. You are the best Daddy in the world." I don't believe it means not doing anything wrong anymore, not sinning anymore and not landing on your face. That will happen no matter how badly you try not to. But faithfulness will make you look to Him always from where ever you landed and believe He is who He says He is and He means all He said, even when you don't have any evidence around you."

Today I asked myself "If you don't believe being faithful means no longer doing anything wrong, or sinning, or falling why did Jesus tell people after forgiving them or healing them "Go and sin no more"? Surely, He knew that being human, that comes with the territory no matter how hard you try?
For many years, I kept thinking somewhere in my heart (I never acknowledged it out loud) that sometimes whilst reading the Gospels it almost looked as if Jesus was contradicting Himself (not to mention Jesus and Paul in his letter to Romans). One day they tell us to rest and stop trying on our own. Then they tell us "sin no more" How on earth am I meant to do that?

Then I saw the movie "10 commandments" from 2006. In the movie, Moses is gathering all the Israelites to go and fight the Amalekites who kept attacking them. Everybody was getting ready for battle, except a young man who was sitting down and looked like he was praying. Moses went to him and asked him what his name was. "Joshua, son of Nun," came, the reply. Moses asked Joshua why he wasn’t getting ready for battle like everybody else and Joshua answered he was waiting for the Lord to fight for Israel, that he will not disobey God by trying to fend for himself. And no matter how much Moses tried to explain to him, Joshua son of Nun, would not move. Some men tried to move him, but Moses shouted: "Let him be. He's still thinking like a slave, not a free man." At that point Joshua grabbed the sword and charged at Moses. After overpowering him, Moses looked straight at Joshua smiling, and told him "You might stand a chance after all."

It's about our minds all the time. The difference between a free man and a slave is the power to choose. One has it, the other one not. A slave will allow things to happen to him, because he thinks he doesn't have a choice. A free man on the other hand, instinctively chooses. You will hear him straight away "I'm not putting up with that." In other words "I choose to get out of this situation." It took the Israelites 40 years to stop thinking as slaves. It takes some people a whole lifetime and sadly some of them leave this place thinking as slaves. Jesus was after our minds all along. "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32) What truth? That you have a choice. In everything you have a choice. "Do I do that and please myself even though I know it's wrong, or do I say no and keep myself clean? Do I accept God and His ways even if I don't like all of them, or do I reject Him?" This was the truth all along. He made us in His image free from the moment we took our first breath. He did not stretch His arms on that cross so that we would carry on having ours chained.

Jesus said he confided in us as in friends because He told us everything. That He didn't treat us like slaves anymore because of what we now knew. In complete faith Jesus began to treat us as free men before we even did anything with the truth He entrusted us. He treated us as free, because He came to give us our freedom back. Freedom from what? From the mentality "I don't have a choice. I want that and I must get it." Ionel, a friend of mine said to me once "What you have to have, has you." Our freedom gives us the power to say "no". 

Since I mentioned movies, I love a scene from the movie "The Matrix". From the moment Neo's mind was set free, he was told when faced with an agent there was only one thing he could do- run as fast as he could. Basically he was given no choice. One day comes along and he is faced with the much dreaded agents. But instead of running, Neo turns around and begins to fight them. When eventually he tries to escape them, back to his reality, he gets shot. The scene I love depicts Neo, standing up after being shot. Something is dramatically changed in him. The agents begin shooting at him again, but Neo stretches out his palm and says very calmly "NO". The bullets fall to the ground as pebbles.

Apostle Paul said, "Sin is not your master anymore". When tempted, you don't have to follow blindly just because you feel "the need". You can always stretch your palm out and say "No". I believe that is what Jesus meant when He said "Go and sin no more"- "Go and choose to say no" Act like a free man. Change the way you think.

"Where your treasure is..."

"Don't wear yourself out trying to get rich; restrain yourself!" (Proverbs 23:4)

"God Almighty will be your treasure, more wealth than you can imagine. You'll take delight in God, the Mighty One, and look to him joyfully, boldly. You'll pray to him and he'll listen;he'll help you do what you've promised." (Job 22:25-27)

"One day, you will understand that it was worth it. That the day called "I can't anymore" never existed in the first place" (Emma's journal- October 2003)

Yesterday, I posted a comment to the Facebook status of my friend and brother, Tim. He posted a funny comment on how he has lessons to learn but he felt dumb as a bag of hammers (comment from a movie). There were certain comments "admonishing" him, on how he should read Romans 8 and pretty much pull himself together:-) The comments were made as a joke as well.
I told Tim how, even if the status wouldn't be a joke and he would mean it, he is entitled (as we are all) to days when he doesn't feel "fantastic, timtastic, bombastic" (used with Tim's permission:-))))). That there are days when perhaps no amount of Scripture would do anything on that day. That the Scripture will however pick us up when we are ready to move on. That I believe, God allows us to have days like those, without thinking we dismiss any of the gifts that He gave us.

Well, today I came to be tested in what I said. I am not an optimist by nature or a happy personality (as oppose to Tim, who is the one of the happiest characters I met in all my life). I don't know if it's my personality or whether my past experiences made me this way. The point is, every single day I have to wake up early, encourage myself in my God and remind my heart who I am, why I am here and where I am going. I learnt that if I don't do this I'm in trouble that day. Today was different, though. I had thoughts that completely dishearten me "You're 30. You don't have the career you could have, you don't earn the money you could earn. You don't have children, you don't have a mortgage, you don't even drive, for crying out loud. And don't tell yourself "I live for the Lord". Where's your ministry (whatever that means)? What exactly are you doing?" I could feel the tears coming... And they came. But I sat there in silence. I knew I will be defended. And I was. I didn't have to go to Romans 8 (thanks, Phil:-)), Romans 8 came to me:

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:31-25, 37-39)

I know how old I am and I'm fine with that. The career and the money and the mortgage are not my priority. I truly believe the verses above from Proverbs and Job. And it's not even blind faith. I saw the lives of people who chased those things. No, thank you. And I also know my life. I am never happier than when I spend time with my Bible looking for my Treasure. I know people and the standards of this world put pressure on us. Sadly, if you tell someone "God is the Blessing of my life", they tend to believe you a lot faster is you have money and success, than if they would look at your life and see the changes in you. I can't do anything about that. All I can do is carry on slowly learning not to be bothered when I am analysed from that perspective.

About "my ministry"...I know where my heart is- His children. I want to encourage His Church in whatever way He will guide me. I want to remind His sons and daughters when they bow their heads who they are, why they are here and where they are going. Always, always bring their eyes back to "the hope that never disappoints or deludes or shames us" (Romans 5:4-5). Those who say gambling is a sin bring a smile on my face. Who else but Christians are the greatest gamblers? We bet everything that we are on seeing His Face one day. And He will not disappoint us.
Now if this desire that's on my heart will ever have a logo, a website and a letterhead or not, I am not too bothered. He brought me from another country in this place, to speak a language that is not my own up to the point I no longer dream in my own language. It costs me something to be here and He knows it. He sees every time I want to run back to my people and I tell my heart to stand still. If I know something is that you never ever give up anything for God's sake without receiving it back a hundred times. It might not be what you expected but you will know it was worth it.

His Emma.

Faithfulness

"And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of]joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation." (Romans 5:4, AMP)

"You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way...Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life." (James 1:4,12 TM)

Last night I met with some dear friends of mine I didn't see in almost a year (shame on me). We were catching up on were we are in our lives, as you do. One of my friends, Hanna, really inspired me by what she shared with us. She grew a lot as a person and as a follower of Jesus and it blessed my heart to hear her. She was sharing on how the only way to actually move on and grow is to accept God for who He is. That even when you are at the bottom of the pit, you must look around you and do your best with what you have, believing God knows what He's doing even if it doesn't make sense to you. She made me remember Job, in his worst hour when he was trying to understand why is his life falling apart:
"Job's wife said to him, "Why are you trying to stay innocent? Curse God and die!"
Job answered, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Should we take only good things from God and not trouble?" In spite of all this Job did not sin in what he said." (Job 2:9-10, NCV)

I remember 2010...Hmmm...What a year!How many lessons! I was reading through my journal from last year and came across phrases like "Normally I would dread times like these, because I don't like what I become under all this pressure. I would sit there and ask Adonai in every way I would know how, to get me out of that situation, to make it stop... This time I don't for some reason. All I know is that He knows what He's doing." Sometimes in school I had to learn lesson I didn't like and I couldn't possibly see how they will help me in my future. Perhaps they did, perhaps they didn't. What matters is that school per all developed me into the thinking reasoning creature that I am today. I suppose I always had the determination to make it through challenging times, what didn't help me was my thought process at the time. What you tell yourself in difficult situations makes the difference between crushing or standing tall. I learnt from King David the concept of encouraging yourself in the Lord. Our spoken words have power and I don't mean just the spiritual concept. Tell yourself long enough that you are an idiot and one day you'll realise that's probably the second thing you tell someone about yourself.

What does it mean to encourage yourself in the Lord? I think it means you make a decision when faced with difficult situations to either comment on your own persona and the situation itself or to tell yourself about the Lord: " Adonai, I know You are a good merciful God . I know nothing escapes You, I know nothing takes You by surprise. I know You will take care of this as well, just as You did with other things in the past."
This is what King David did all over the Psalms- he talked to his soul and he reminded himself whom his God was.
But in order to be able to do this you must believe what His Word says is true and that He means every word He says. That He always remains the same and He is not confused about what He wants from us as to change His mind every 500 years.

I always thought being faithful to God implies some sort of complicated theological concept which if I try hard enough I might understand some day, or perhaps striving to live a spotless life.
We are meant to seek to live a blameless life. You can't walk with God and carry on living the same way you always did. You can't take John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..." and dismiss Jesus's words "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48) It doesn't work like that.
I believe Jesus meant every word He said. But at the same time He called us to join Him, for His burden is light and His yoke is easy" (Matthew 11:30) He called us to Him because He knew His presence in our lives changes us. The perfection He's talking about is a "side effect" of living with God. I will forever stand for God's love and forgiveness and mercy. Anyone who knows the way I ended up walking with Him knows, I would be literally be dead without them. But at the same time I don't want to forget He also said: "Those who know my commands and obey them are the ones who love me" (John 14:21 NVC)

Hanna, was telling us how she came to understand some of God's feelings whilst observing her children "I love you, mummy, you are the best mummy in the world" and then when they would not get what they want "I hate you, mummy!"

I believe being faithful is just as simple as saying always no matter what "I love you, Abba. You are the best Daddy in the world." I don't believe it means not doing anything wrong anymore, not sinning anymore and not landing on your face. That will happen no matter how badly you try not to. But faithfulness will make you look to Him always from where ever you landed and believe He is who He says He is and He means all He said, even when you don't have any evidence around you.

Emanuela. xxx

This is one of my favourite songs of all times. One of the first ones I learnt. It's sang by Marty Goetz, a Messianic Jew. The majority of his songs are King David's Psalms on music. At the end of this song he recites The Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4)