The music is epic. The lyrics describe my relationship with Him perfectly, but above all else this song makes me remember:-) I am once again single, peniless and guarding a church building outside of Cluj-Napoca, Romania. I am listening to this song on a CD player which is probably considered a piece of antique now:-) I have no plans, no prospects and no idea as to what my future will be. I feel lost, but somehow held very close. I start to cry and let myself fall to the ground next to the church wall. I can sob. I am alone here and no one but God can hear me. And I cry and cry and cry. Te music is really low but I hear an airplane and I look up. As the airplane passes over my head, I hear Him "One day, you will be on one of them and they will take you to England. I promise you."
You see, God made me many promises in those years, but that is the only time I strongly remember the words "I promise you". It made me feel not just, held and cared for but also special and as if I truly mattered enough for Him to come, listen to my sobs and then make me a promise. So "Obsession" became for me the song of the promise.
A few months after that moment in time, I was on an airplane taking me to England. There is a moment in the song where everything seems to explode. I fast forwarded my song to that moment, and while the plane was taking off I pressed play. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. One of those moments which you never ever forget with all the emotion and thoughts, how the weather was like, whether you were warm or cold...You just remember everything, as if you somohow captured that moment in a jar and are able to keep going back to it whenever you want...
Everytime, that song comes up on my playlist now, I look up to the sky and expect to see or hear an airplane. I don't always do. But this year, on my way to work on a cold foggy morning, I almost reached my building in downtown Birmingham and I didn't want to get in. The building felt like a cage and I felt trapped and bound to keep entering that building for the rest of my life. The song came up. The music was really loud again. I was downtown Birmingham, away from an airport, but through all the noise of the music and the clouds in the sky, I heard an airplane. At first, I thought I imagined it so I got my headphones out of my hears. And right at that moment the airplane which I did not see but clearly heard passed over my head.
All of the emotions from 12 years ago came over me. I felt cared for and held tight and above all else a thought remained with me- "Emma, do you realise He knows you so well and is so much in control of your life, that He knew exactly when you will feel this despair and knew exactly when to shuffle this song on your playlist and made a whole airplane full of people to take off at the exact moment so that His daughter will hear and remember that He remained the same God who brought her here. The same God who made a way back then and was very much able to make a way right now. He wanted His daughter to remember the three most uplifting words coming from Him besides "I love you". He wanted her to remember "I promise you".
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