My general first reaction to discouragement is to run and hide and possibly stay there until God comes to me like He did to Elijah: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"(1 Kings 19:9) Something like "I was, Lord, but I am no more." What's the source of our discouragement? Well, I guess it might be many things- hardship, unanswered prayers, people bad mouthing us, tiredness. Where does it start? In my case is in my mind and then if allow it, it reaches my heart. We start to see ourselves as failures, possibly believe we might struggle like this for as long as we live and then fear of even trying again sneaks in. In times like these I feel God the same way He went to Adam and Eve after they sinned. Adam began to tell God how they hid because they were naked. God simply asked him: ""Who told you that you were naked?" (Genesis 3:11)
"Who told you, you're a failure? Who told you you'll never make it? Who told you I'm upset and angry? Who's accusing you, My child?"
Rightly so, who's accusing us? "Who shall bring any charge against God's elect [when it is] God Who justifies [that is, Who puts us in right relation to Himself? Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those whom God has chosen? Will God, Who acquits us?] Who is there to condemn [us]? Will Christ Jesus (the Messiah), Who died, or rather Who was raised from the dead, Who is at the right hand of God actually pleading as He intercedes for us?" (Romans 8:33-34, Amplified Bible)
And since we are so much more eager to believe accusations, how do we fight this weakness? I love the way the Jewish nation is so focus on remembering. Eli Wiesel said: "I marvel at the resilience of the Jewish people. Their best characteristic is their desire to remember. No other people has such an obsession with memory." Why? Because, if I know I am Emma, there's no way you'll convince me I am Mary. We're far less likely to become discouraged and lied to, if we remember our walk with God. When it hurts what seems most real is our pain, but pain will never be more real than the truth. And what is true is our walk with God so far. The tricky part is being able to remember. Philip Yancey calls it spiritual amnesia. I didn't know it had a name, but I started fighting it by writing down. I will forever write down everything, I will leave road signs for myself for when I struggle and feel lost. Because it's then when I go back and start reading. Notebook number one, number two, number seven...until I remember... "I am not a failure. I am a fighter. Look how many times I stood up in the past, look how many times God helped me, see how much it hurt that day and check out how happy and hopeful I was on the next page." The truth will remain the same no matter what we feel- we're not alone, and The One who brought us this far, did not invest all His love and time in us only to abandon us now. He'll never do it. It's ok, lift up your heart and see He never left. You're not a failure, you're more than mistakes and for as long as you don't give up He guarantees you'll make it. He is our strength and He'll never fail us. It's ok.
If you struggle right now and you don't even know where to begin to pick yourself up, not to mention stir yourself up, I am here for you. Leave me a message. I promise I will not publish it, just let me pray for you. I didn't plan to write this today, but you're on my heart. So, whoever you are, it's ok. He's not accusing you and He's not upset. He just wants you to remember you're not alone.
Your sister,
Emma
P.S. This is for you:-)
"Speak To Me"- Audio Adrenaline
"I'm in a fix
Need something quick
My mind is numb
My stomach sick
Broken hearts
Hopeless things
I've seen what defiance brings
Cause the light of day
I've always known
Is in my heart
I'm not alone
Speak to me
Tell me all the things I need to know
I want to hear you now
Can you speak to me
I've opened up your word to free me
I want to hear you now
It's amazing
How I forget
Can't live my life
For lack of it
But the light of day
I've always known
It's in my heart
I'm not alone
Speak to me
Tell me all the things I need to know
I want to hear you now
Can you speak to me
I've opened up your word to free me
I want to hear you now
Make your wisdom clear
The words I hold so dear
Bring the light into my dark
I hide them inside my heart"
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