Joyfulness

"Through Him also we have [our] access by faith into this grace (state of God's favor) in which we [firmly and safely] stand. And let us rejoice and exult in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God." (Romans 5:2, Amplified Bible

In their song "Alive", POD declare "It's beyond my control, sometimes is best to let go whatever happens in this lifetime. So I trust in Love, You have given me peace of mind." For a long time in my life I struggled in my walk with God, because some days I would try to live absolutely for Him, in a world that absolutely denies His existence, and in others I would want to do my own thing. I kept telling my husband "I am exhausted, I feel like I'm trying to bring together in me two worlds that do not seem to want to co-exist." And then one day I realised it will never happen, that I have to choose one and stick with it. So I let go to this world's expectations over my life. Some of us are simply not meant to be in a 9-5 job for the rest of our lives, have a mortgage, two cars, two kids and a cat. Some of us were simply not meant to climb the ladder to the top, stay there for twenty years, gather a good pension fund and a gold watch upon retirement. I am not saying this is something to look down upon. Far from it, since this was my dream for many years. But it seemed as if the more I wanted it, the more I fought to get it and the harder I worked for it, the further away I would feel from God. He would no longer have the best of me, this was consecrated to my career. God would get what my exhaustion would allow. So I dropped it. I don't know why I felt that way. Many many people follow Him devoutly and manage to have a successful career. That was not my case and I don't want it at the expense of anything that I now have with God. I am even more convinced of this lately, since I am working overtime quite a lot to save some money for a big event we'll have in our family. I can't see myself doing this for years for the sake of a better salary and a nod of approval from someone when they hear my job title. I was chatting the other week with some colleagues at work. One of them was saying how much they would like to step into management, another was saying how hard they worked to have their own house, that nobody could take their house from them unless they would take them down with it. I had to be honest with them and tell them I am not interested in management, that I already tried it and it didn't do anything for me. And I am not interested in a mortgage because I live as if I am in a bus station, ready to go any minute to another location where I would be needed. They looked at me as if I fell from another planet, but what they couldn't possibly understand is the freedom I live in. I've got nothing here that can be taken away from me. In 2003, one of the most difficult years of my life so far, I wrote in my notebook: "What I have in God is far greater than anything I don't have in this life." And if I would have to put in words this freedom that I feel , that is how it would sound. The source of my joy is that no matter what I have or don't have, no matter what I am or what I would become, at the end of it I will see God. People don't like to talk about the end because the majority of them are reminded of everything they will have to let go on that day. We all saw a coffin- you can't fit to much in there.

Last month, Daniel had a concert in Ireland and also visited a few churches. On the evening when he returned home he was telling me for almost an hour about this church in Belfast with this amazing building, in this amazing location where only the lights system costed £80,000. He was telling me of the glam and glitz of that place and all I could see was an earthquake or a flood. One of the saddest things I can see is big church buildings where they forked millions "to be relevant" to a world that hungers for significance, meaning, love, friendship and understanding. Yeshua said: "Do not gather and heap up and store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust and worm consume and destroy, and where thieves break through and steal. But gather and heap up and store for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust nor worm consume and destroy, and where thieves do not break through and steal; For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Am I against money and having nice things? Absolutely not. What I am against is their desperate attempt to take the central place that belongs to God, and the high success rate they seem to have amongst His followers. He came to set us free from all this. And you know you are free when you look at everything and everyone around you and realise that if something or someone would be taken away from you, you could carry on living and following God. If however, the thought of losing something or someone throws you into a black hole and turns God into the Punisher, I believe you are not free no matter what you tell yourself.

The freedom that He came to bring has no fear in it, of anything. It's pure joy in its essence and its foundation is as unshakable and eternal as God Himself. Because when you no longer hold on to this world, this world can no longer have a hold on you.