The day before yesterday I read a comment to an article about Pope Francis not opposing the idea of evolution, in that he stated at a scientific conference that God created humans and put them in an environment to evolve. One person wrote "It's time for gods to evolve just like us, if they wish to survive." I stopped and tried to imagine how would God reach such a mind and heart? And yet, He does it. He reached minds and hearts of people like C.S. Lewis or Josh McDowell, both of whom became some of Christianity's strongest advocates. The list is longer, all you have to do is Google "Famous atheists who became Christians" to find them all. Wikipedia even created a list for them.
I pass everyday by a Christian book shop on my way to work. They have a calendar on a shelf which I get to see everyday I pass by. It says on the front page "Nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37)
I said this before and I will repeat it, I can't explain everything about God. I can't even always explain Him to myself. All I can talk about, all I can rely on is what He taught me through the Bible and what I experienced again and again and again.
I don't have all the answers because I am limited by my human knowledge and "wisdom". They both want humanistic evidence and explanations to an infinite God and His ways. But I am also a daughter of The Almighty God (John 1:12-13) and my spirit within me recognises and knows Him at a personal level. So, I pursue Him with my human brain because I like to understand and when I reach edges, where my human knowledge fails me (it can't have its explanations and evidence), I turn inside myself and reach to the child in me. I see her smile with eyes full of trust as if she knows something I haven't quite grasped yet. And so I rely at that stage on what she knows, on her childlike knowledge of a Father that I can't see with my human eyes, or touch with my human hands, or fully explain with my human brain. And when I let go, I find a strange kind of peace inside, a peace that seems to say "I know that I know". Although I can't always put in words what I know.
I went to the dictionary and checked a verb I thought I knew well- to know. The verb is defined as:
"to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and with certainty; to have estblished or fixed in the mind or memory; to be cognisant or aware of; be acquainted with (a thing, place, person, etc.), as by sight,experience, or report; to understand from experience or attainment; to be able to distinguish, as one from another"
People will sometimes tell you God can't be explain, you either accept Him or you don't. I don't think it is as extreme as that. I will never stop trying to explain God and try to know Him with my human brain and heart or else why do I even have this human experience called life? I will try...But I will do it on the foundation of some axioms in my life.
You see, I am obsessed by axioms. This whole blog is an axiom. I called it Road Signs because I want to remember so that I know where to step next. Axioms in the context of a Christian life are born through experiences with God, the kind of experiences which end up tattooed on your heart- when He came and picked you up from a messy situation, when you called and He came and made things better than you expected, when you were afraid and you told Him and He took the fear away with His peace... My axioms are born from almost 14 years of living with God and 19 notebooks of at least 200 pages each where I wrote everything about my relationship with Him. Some of my axioms are:
- God is good and He does not stop being good just because the world is evil
- God never abandons what He loves
- He never rejects you when you go to Him for help
- If you hold on to Him, God will never allow you to get lost
- If you seek Him with all your heart, in humility, you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13-14). What do I mean by "in humility"? I mean without preconceived ideas of who He is and what He is supposed to be doing.
Ok so I base my feet firmly on these axioms and search. And I don't shy away from anything because I know that I know that He won't let me go and He knows that my search is genuine. Many times I reach edges. Many times...Things that I can't explain, things that point an accusing finger at my God. My first gut reaction is to doubt what I know and then start defending. Instead I am learning to go back inside to His little girl, the one He holds tight in His arms, the one who taught me my axioms. I look at their love and trust for each other and in that moment I know that I know that one day I will know everything.
"And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)
"But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the LORD who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the LORD, have spoken!" (Jeremiah 9:24)
